So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
