Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
