He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
