one might say we're banned from that church
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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