Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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