worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
