We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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