So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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