This house was built for laser tag.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He shit in the fireplace
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize