Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
