and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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