I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You need a sexual gate keeper
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
