youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
