and my herpes radar will keep us safe
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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