he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
