google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
