just come out here and I will go home with you...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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