we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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