i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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