Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
