nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
