Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
