Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
