If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
