Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
