I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
