I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
