well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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