Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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