It's like a parade of train wrecks.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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