This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The Olympian is in my bed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize