im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
