wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh god it's open bar.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
