In the future we'll all be gay
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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