I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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