So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
