I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
