This girl is more easily done than said...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize