There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
