Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
