distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
