Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
where does the pee come out of this thing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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