Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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