i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
