yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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