whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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