talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
