I'm so fucking centered right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
