he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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