You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
