Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
