More tranny stories later!
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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