With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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