I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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