Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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