That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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