I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
