fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
