I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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